The Monkeys Have It Figured Out

I was thumbing through some information on the human brain when I saw a very intriguing story about chimps, which I guess really aren’t monkeys, but close enough that you could call them “Cuzz” and get away with it.

Researchers, those four eyed wonders with the lab coats, have observed female chimpanzees making wooden spears, which they use for two things, putting chow on the table, and defending their brood.

Interesting to me is the fact that it is the females who make the weapons, and who pass the knowledge down to the youngunz.

Now if I am to believe in evolution, I want to know when exactly did men become the hunters, and munitions experts, if this was a female trait, as evidenced by the chimp behavior. What kind of landmine got stepped on to alter the genetic code?

And I guess this means that all that stuff about women being the fairer sex is hogwash.

The women of the modern era could learn something from their chimp cousins, according to my scientific study. I have just donned a lab coat and spectacles, and I think that this kindler gentler act doesn’t play.

The chimp women have even been observed throwing their spears at other species that violate their turf, and showing the youngunz how its done.

Very interesting stuff, given that today maybe one  woman in a thousand is capable of defending herself. Men are losing ground very fast here too.

I remember watching a gorilla at the zoo sometime back, and watching in amazement as the male, who weighed about 500 pounds, pulled himself up a wall using just its fingers.

Using a single exercise as a standard, how many men or women today can do one pull up?

My guess is one woman out of a thousand, and one hundred men.

Which means that if you can’t do a pull up, you really can’t protect yourself very well at all.

When you see one of those bodybuilding apes at the gym, ask them if they can do a pull up. If they can’t, its all show and no go.

This is something mooks understand, and use to intimidate. You can say one thing about mooks for sure, and that is that they are usually in pretty good shape. They have to be, because they are predators, and if there is no mark, they prey on each other, which means its kill or be killed.

That is why it is paramount to be tooled and schooled. You only have seconds to respond if you should happen to cross into mook territory, or they invade yours, which is the more likely scenario.

You are not king of the hill unless you can defend your turf. You can learn that from watching kids play king of the mountain. See who ends up on top.

Those female chimps get the message, and are fashioning tools to defend themselves.

Who is more evolved, them, or us?

Get your tools now, and it wouldn’t hurt to work out some too.

One pull up. Just one.

If you’re prepared you’ll never be surprised,

Michael Gravette