Big Fat Mike Does A Good Deed

First off, I’m not referring to myself, but to my slobbovian friend of the same first name, Michael Moore. I have used Big Fat Mike as cannon fodder several times, but today I’m going to mention his name in a good light, in the interest of fairness and all.

Now you have all probably seen, or at least heard of Big Fat Mike, the guy who shoots the one sided documentaries targeting anything Republican or conservative. His last shot was at the health care system, which is a pretty easy target, even for grade schoolers.

Big Fat Mike has made a lot of dough from his shlockumentaries, and some folks say his net worth is now over $150 million. That pretty much means Big Fat Mike can get the best health care available, and if he stays at his present size, Double Buffet Molester, he’s going to need it pretty soon. I hope he doesn’t have a John Candy experience.

What I want to mention today is that Big Fat Mike draws the line on political correctness when it comes to his grub. Get out of the way of the Double Buffet Molester when it involves eating animals.

Big Fat Mike has been attacked by those wonderful and smelly PETA folks, and he isn’t going to stand for it. He says, and I quote, “The animal rights movement makes me want to kick my dog.” He actually defends hunters, hunting, and meat eating.

By golly, I think there is hope for this guy.

According to a report, he sent a crew of people to protest outside PETA HQ with signs that said, “YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIVES!” He also made sure there were plenty of hot sweaty animals on hand.

He gets some big points from me for that. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop referring to him as the big fat schlockumentarian, but I may send him some cheesecake if I see him around.

You know, I think I just might send him a personal alarm, in case he gets stuck in the bathtub.

If you’re prepared, you’ll never be surprised,

Michael Gravette